But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
