We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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