people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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