WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
