And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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