I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
