evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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