Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i think we sleep fucked last night...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
