you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
