escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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