i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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