D3 body, D1 cock
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
