just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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