Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
