Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
