Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
