The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize