We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
