Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
