; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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