Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
how does that bad decision feel?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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