well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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