Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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