He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
