just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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