lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
