belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
