I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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