So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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