Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize