ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
