1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
