thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I believe in your delicious
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
