i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
