my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize