So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
