Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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