using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
