He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
