I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
