tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
