Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
