Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
