Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
