Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
