remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
