So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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