You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
