Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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