what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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