Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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