Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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