Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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