I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
