yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
