well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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