Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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