He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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