i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
