We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
