We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
