Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
