I'm so fucking centered right now
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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