kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
