So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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