What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
